The shoes still fit but won’t do

Just like many women around the world I adore my shoes, the higher the heel the better. Not so much now! I’m not quite Imelda Marcos. I am a mere but perfect 5′ 0″ or 152cm therefore wearing heels makes me feel as though I have a fighting chance of being on a semi level par with other women.

In my teenage years I found that wearing flat shoes didn’t suit me very well. I had frequent falls. I discovered (when I was eventually allowed to wear them) that I was able to wear high heels more successfully. My poor knees were no longer getting such a battering. When my children were young I went back to wearing flatter shoes ie trainers. I often suffered scraped knees and hands again.

I am one of those people who walks looking down most of the time. I have very small feet, UK size 3.5 European 36 US size 5. It doesn’t take much to make me fall down. It could be something as simple as a stone or a break in the ground surface. My small feet also limited the height of the heels I could wear due to the part of my foot on the ground is smaller than for those with bigger feet.

In my late teens when I left school and joined the working masses I had great trouble finding suitable shoes in my size. I remember one time I had a new pair of shoes and the heel broke the first time I wore them. I took them back to the shop but couldn’t get a replacement as they had very few shoes in my size other than childrens shoes. At that time I was wearing size 2 – 2.5 shoes. It was good that if I was buying trainers I could buy them from the childrens department and pay less than for adult shoes. However for my heels I was very restricted in choice available.

As my children got older and I was working in an office again I was able to again wear heels. For quite some time I was known as the lady of colours. I like to co-ordinate not only my clothes but also my shoes, jewellery and make up. I liked to have shoes that were in black, brown, beige, pink, red, yellow and so on. I don’t think I ever had Blue heels as I rarely wore blue. Because I wear a half size it wasn’t easy to buy these in the shops. (not the one I could afford to buy from anyway). I discovered that the best place for me to buy my shoes was ebay. Yes there were times when the fit wasn’t great but I got some great bargains. Designer shoes at a price I could afford. My collection of heels of many colours grew considerably over a few years. I never paid more than £10 for a pair of shoes.

By the time I left my last office job almost 4 years ago. (4 years! where did that go?) I was finding that heels were no longer so comfortable. When I moved here I threw out quite a few pairs knowing that I wouldn’t wear them again. Every morning I walk past my shoe holder with more pairs of heels than flats. I say flats but I mean nearly flat not completely flat. I know I won’t wear those shoes anymore. They range from 1.5″ to 3″ heels. I just can’t bring myself to let them go. They are taking up space that I know could be better used but I want to keep them. I guess in a way they are a reminder of my more glamorous days. Days when I could appear to be taller than I am.

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