When will it end?

What with all my poor health of late. I just wonder what life has in store.

I have numerous friends dealing with horrific health problems. No I’m not the only one.

Then last week my gorgeous, smart, loving daughter in law had surgery last week for an ectopic pregnancy. That would be bad enough but this was the second in under a year. Making this not only a tradgedy in itself but life changing for her and her little family. She so wanted a second child.

Several months ago I learnt that my best friend from school had lung cancer. If that wasn’t bad enough her brother died of covid at the start of the year. My friend and I had lost touch for a number of years when our children were young. In those days there were no mobile phones and no internet. I found her again through Facebook about 8 years ago.

We both had busy lives and always promised we would meet up again at some point. I had moved away from the area 33 years ago. Our communication was intermittent but we were still in each others thoughts. During one of our more recent communications I had promised that providing I was well enough I would make the effort to go and see her this summer.

Unfortunately it is now too late. My dear friend passed away peacefully yesterday morning.

Why is it that the good people in this life have to suffer so much.

Fractured not broken

The other night and it was at night I wrote a post about waiting. I wrote it because I had been reading Abbie Greaves book The end of the Earth. It had taken me back to when I was a young adult. I couldn’t sleep because of the thoughts going round and round in my head. Once I had written it and I apologise I didn’t read it through so there are bound to be errors.

One of my new blogging friends Bitchy after 60 commented that with everything I have been through it would have broken most people.

That post only scratched the surface of what my life has been like in the last 50+ years. I’m not broken yet. I have many emotional fractures and my body is falling apart but nothing has broken me yet.

Last night mother asked if I had experienced depression or anxiety in the last year. The question was in relation to the covid-19 pandemic. The answer is no. I am lucky to have technology that has allowed me to keep in contact with family and friends. I could also order whatever I needed online. I also have plenty to keep me occupied. My garden, reading, knitting etc.

That doesn’t mean I haven’t experienced anxiety or feeling in low spirits. I have but more in respect of my health than the pandemic.

Elbow bumps, why?

On and off since March 2020 I have wondered about this. Why do they do it? I understand that the advice is not to shake hands in greetings. What I don’t understand and it’s often politicians that I see on TV doing this, is why the elbow bumps? For a start they have to get much closer together in order to do this.

Wouldn’t it be better to not have physical contact. After all we are meant to be keeping space between us. If they can’t bear to forego physical contact then for heaven’s sake wear gloves and have a handshake. No skin on skin contact and not such close proximity.

Insisting on this elbow bumping ( often looking awkward) is not clever. It doesn’t protect them from catching covid-19. I know that it is considered polite in the civil world to shake hands but couldn’t do that for the past year. Considering the social distancing, face coverings we have all become accustomed to is it not possible that these politicians and other business people/ celebrities could just not do anything.

If elbow bumps are permitted then why is hugging not?

Please could someone explain to me why I can’t hug my family but these people can bump elbows.

We are gradually coming out of lockdown here in UK. Will this habit continue or will handshakes resume?

Reaching the Summit

Yesterday we had a visit from a specialist nurse. She came to assess how mother manages in the house and see what help she could give. Another grab rail will soon be installed.

Mother has been shown better ways of getting in and out of bed and her armchair. She has been forbidden from using the riser function of her chair. If she can do the exercises she has been given she will have more strength in her legs. This will make her less dependent on me which will be good for both of us.

Today I was out of the house for much longer than on any day since my surgery in August. I attended a mini socially distanced online training summit. It was a big occasion for me. Partly by managing to be away from home for more than just one or two hours at a time. Also for socially distanced spending time with friends that I haven’t seen for almost 18 months.

Whilst there I took a phone call from a ‘private number’ which turned out to be one of the drs at our surgery. She had the results of the blood test I had on Wednesday. Apparently I am anaemic again which explains my low energy levels recently. She has read the letter I had sent a few weeks ago. I was then grilled about my bowel problems. She is recommending that I am seen by a gastroenterologist urgently.

I am glad that my problems are being dealt with. However I am trying not to think about what this entails.

Mother survived her day at home alone. I made her lunch before I went out. She tells me that she has done her exercises. Perhaps in the not too distant future we will both be physically better off.

What a shock

I have had my new car for a few days now. I am enjoying driving it around. I am happy that so far I have not yet stalled the engine. I was worried about swapping my automatic for manual transmission after my last three cars being automatic. However what I don’t like is getting out and getting an electric shock each time I close the door. I am learning to use my sleeve. I’m gradually finding my way around the various functions on the screen etc. I have even managed to pair my phone. This will help when I’m out and my mother tries to phone me to see when I’m coming home.

In the last few days I have done a bit of gardening. The sweet peas are in as are the nasturtium seeds. Solar lamps are hanging in the crab apple tree and another tree that I don’t know the identity of. Solar powered garden tea lights are along the edge of the patio at the end of the lawn.

Oddly we didn’t have very much wild life in the garden. There were no Pigeons, no Doves, only one Robin a couple of times later in the day. Only one squirrel came for a visit and that wasn’t until tea time. We have no idea what was going on. I am happy to say that we have seen a robin several times and a collared dove but also the dunnock and some sparrows. We don’t often have sparrows in the back garden although they can be seen in the lilac tree at the front of the house.

Today is perfect weather for drying the washing. Unfortunately I am waiting for someone tall and strong to put our new washing line. However I have managed to hang my washing on an airer set up in the middle of the lawn.

I have been out to pick up some of my Avon brochures. I have another £80 in orders to add to my tally for April. I have more to collect on Wednesday when I shall also be putting more out for next week.

I had my second Pfizer jab on Saturday evening. I am pleased to report that apart from a slightly sore arm I have no other side effects. I’m not planning to be out partying any time soon but now that we have both had both our jabs we are a little more confident about seeing anyone else.

I have been knitting in yellow the last few days. an yellow and green striped jumper and a yellow pixie hat.

It’s my birthday

This is my second lockdown birthday. My third non birthday in consecutive years. Tomorrow some of the lockdown restriction are being eased. A day late for my birthday. However we are having a family get together on Tuesday at a near by play area so that we can be outdoors and let my two grandchildren play. It will be interesting to see what they make of each other. My grandson will be 3 later this month and my granddaughter 18 months. With this pandemic they have not had much opportunity to meet. The last time I saw them both at once was our family christmas meal 2019. When my granddaughter was just 3 months old and slept most of the time.

This morning I have received many birthday wishes including one from an old friend I hadn’t spoken to for a number of years. We have had a long chat on the phone catching up with the changes in both our lives. I also had a video call with my granddaughter and her daddy. I can’t wait to see her on Tuesday.

Otherwise the day is not much different to any other day. I have been working on my new Avon Blog. I am treating us to some cider to have with dinner tonight.

Unexpected practice

I don’t get much practice as I don’t take mum out very often. The first time this year was when I took her for her first vaccine on 1st February. Today I was taking her for her second jab. Easy, or at least it should have been. She had her first jab at our GP surgery but this time it was to be somewhere else. The majority of people in our town have been going to the next town for our jabs. When she got the phone call to book her jab she was told it was at this other place. We naturally assumed it was at the same place the rest of us had been before.

I parked up got mum into her wheelchair and pushed her along the pavement to the health centre , we were 10 minutes early. There were others walking away. I didn’t think much of it thinking they had had their jab. It wasn’t until we were inside the building that we found a notice telling us that the vaccine centre has moved to the community centre.

Stupidly I figured that this was the place I had gone to with the other parent when he had his diabetic eye screening. On that occasion I sat in the car dog sitting. So I got mum back into the car, drove to the car park by where I now thought it was. Having got mum out of the car and into her wheelchair again we made our way to the front of the building. There was no sign that anything was happening there. Back we went to the car. Helping mum back into the car. I then found out that the community centre is on a road leading from White Hart Lane. (not the home of Tottenham hotspurs). Finally we arrived at the correct place 20 minutes late. Yet again getting mum into the wheelchair.

Once we reached the front of the queue they couldn’t find her name so we had to proceed as “unidentified”. It was only a few minutes later that we were shown to the allotted vaccine station. Typing the information into the computer the young girl had a problem with the post code. Someone else had to come over to help. Finally we were free to go 40 minutes after the original appointment time. At least now I know where to go next week when it’s my turn for my second jab.

I think I can say that I got plenty of practice not only getting the wheelchair in and out of the car, but getting mum in and out of the car and chair.

Something I’ve wanted to do

This is something I have wanted to do for ages. Probably the last couple of years. I have gone as far as starting a new template a couple of times but found that starting a new blog is harder now than it was years ago when I began blogging. There are so many templates to choose from. The widgets and plugins are a minefield. Earlier this week I decided to alter a blog that I had started perhaps 5 years ago with my husband. It never really got off the ground. Trying to work full time and run a business at the same time as creating posts for a new blog became overwhelming.

Now though I have more time. I have converted my old blog to one dedicated to my Avon Business and Sunshine Team. I have over the last few days added a few posts for different products. I am also creating a new page for each group of products with links to individual product posts. There are links to my online shop and I shall be adding a link for joining my team.

Elliesdeals

On another note. I had visitors yesterday. No I’m not talking about birds or squirrels or even cats. My youngest son and his g/f. came to see us. Sitting at a distance and with face masks. The last time my son visited, He only lives 20 minutes away by car. Was back in July before my hospital stay. It was so nice to see them. Apparently it was very odd being on a train again after all these months. Sitting chatting felt almost like normal times.

Next week ( just after my birthday) I shall hopefully, providing that everything goes to plan. See my older boys and their families. I am so looking forward to seeing everyone. We are meeting at a local play area near the creek. The last time I saw both my grandchildren at the same time, was our family Christmas dinner 2019, when my granddaughter was 3 months old.

I just hope the weather is better than it has been the last few days. We even had a few snow flurries yesterday. Very unusual for here.

Today I am grateful

I feel as though I have been moaning about my lot in life quite a lot lately. So I have decided to think about the things I am grateful for.

  1. My family
  2. I will soon be able to spend time with my family again.
  3. Sunshine
  4. Having a garden
  5. The ability to bring life into our garden
  6. The wildlife that I get to see from my armchair
  7. Living near to various beaches
  8. Avon – my sanity
  9. Knitting
  10. Reading
  11. Technology – video calls
  12. Technology – research and talk to others with my health issues
  13. A roof over my head
  14. Enough food to eat (even with an unconventional diet).
  15. Being single
  16. Friends
  17. Independence
  18. Sense of humour
  19. Love of colour
  20. BEING ALIVE

What day is it?

I was thinking that it feels like Saturday but its only Tuesday. I tend to lose track of the days now. (yes I know I am not alone). I think I would be losing track even if we were not in lockdown. For most of my life especially my adult life I have had to keep track. Either for work or when my children were growing up for their school days. I remember years ago that I came to a realisation that all week I was looking forward to the weekend to arrive, then all weekend wishing for the week to start.

After I left my job in a Sales Office almost four years ago, I longed for the freedom of not having to live by the alarm clock. I am not and never have been good at mornings. Having to get up early enough to get my children ready for school/college and myself to work some 12 miles away by 8am was pure torture.

Working for myself to build our Network Marketing Business I was still setting the alarm but much later. I could choose my own timetable of when and where to work. Illness soon put paid to that for several months. 6 months later when my health was getting back to where it should be I found myself working as a parcel courier. 6 gruelling days a week. I definitely kept track of the days then. I always knew how many days there were until my day off on Sunday.

When my health issues put a stop to that work after 2 1/2 years I kept up my Avon business but on a part time basis to fit around my health and caring for my mother. Now that I never have to be anywhere at a certain time on certain days it is so easy for each day to be the same. In these days of lockdown I am limiting my forays out of the house to twice a week. I do everything I need to on those two days (usually Monday and Friday). This week is different because I am having my first Covid vacination shot on Thursday. The majority of people I know of have had a sore arm and slept a lot the following day. For that reason I am not going out on Friday I shall go on Saturday instead.

I saw something the other day about circular time. It was on the cover of a book I saw online. I don’t know about anyone else but I see time in circles. Each day is like a clock face that goes around twice. I think really I see time as more of a spring than actual circles. Each circuit leads onto the next one. My weeks are also like a spring. I guess like a slinky with each coil being a day and the coils wrapping around from left to right, five coils for the week days then two longer coils for the weekend wrapping back around to start the next week. Months are odd as each month is a straight line from left to right. My years though are going back to the clock face. This time January starting from the six position and going anti clockwise with June at the top then back down to the bottom with December at Seven position.

Yes I know I’m not normal.