Awarded

A few weeks ago the lovely Debbie from Hoodscoop03 nominated me for an award. I am sorry it has taken me a while to get around to passing it on.

This award is for being part of the WordPress Family.

Since I began using WordPress a few years ago and yes I know this blog is less than a year old, I have met numerous lovely people through their blogs. In an online sense that is.

Here are a few of my WordPress Family who also deserve this award.

Let Out to play This lady has a great sense of humour and takes wonderful photos

Appletonavenue This lady has not had it easy but she never gives up even when she feels she can’t go. I  just want to hug this lady and take away all her difficulties.

Relaxandfloatdownstream A breath of fresh air.

Breezy Books Maddie Cochere author of Susan Hunter Mysteries

more words

update on  progress

I didn’t get as much writing done as I wanted over the weekend.

I also wanted to transfer what I had written on the ibook to my pc but the only way to do this was to rewrite it so that has taken some time but I did also edit it as I went along.

Weasels  =  4407

Slugs   =  1655

Helen  = 1289

Running Total  = 7351

Magic

So here are a few of today’s songs from the golden hour on our local radio, can you guess the year from these?

first there was this which of course I remember as if it were yesterday

Then we had this little piece of magic to which I sang along effortlessly

I won’t go through the whole hour but it was completed with one of my favourite stars of the time. My friends and I all adored David Essex.

I have been feeling a bit depressed this week.

On Wednesday I had an appointment at the hospital to see the anaesthetist who feels that I am fit for surgery and will recommend this to my surgeon. On the upside he did describe me as ‘slightly overweight’ I guess it is all relative and he said I am young. I told him I like him 🙂

This week I shall be back at the hospital for an MRI scan followed a few hours later by my first mammogram. Neither of which I am looking forward to. I had my only ever panic attack during my first MRI scan. The second was a better experience, both of these were way back in 2001.

I am now awaiting the letters giving me dates for my pre op consultation followed by my op. (Nothing major just something that requires either an epidural or a general).

Anyone who knows me will be aware that I love my job, except lately it has been getting harder to be enthusiastic. We are going through a period of transition and it is making our job very difficult and quite disheartening, Yet our manager has high expectations that are not always possible to attain.

On the upside I did apparently manage to impress the ISO auditor who sat by my desk on Friday (whilst I was feeling unwell) so that I could explain our processes to him, so that put a smile on my face.

Yesterday Owl and I went down to the beach. This is the first time I have attempted to upload a video to Youtube.

see it here

Secrets of No 15 is making progress although slow this last week, I have not been in the zone for various reasons. However I have had an offer to edit what I have written at a discounted price. Thanks sweetheart 🙂

The last piece of magic is that we have new visitors to our garden, Mr and Mrs blackbird have been visiting in the last few days.

Trust

This not the kind of thing I would usually write about on here. Today I am making an exception.

Trust is a very important part of a marriage.

As much as I love my husband and will do whatever I can to support him in anything he does.

He broke my trust within months of us getting married.

In the past week he lost his driving license due to drinking then driving. He didn’t drink much just two pints but two pints meant he was twice the legal limit. It was the second time in a matter of weeks that he had been arrested for the same crime. Lucky for him the first time he was only 2 points over the limit so he was let off with a lecture. He didn’t learn the lesson.

For 20 years I lived with and was married to an alcoholic, I knew he was a drinker but tried to make it work, it didn’t. However in all the years we were  together he never made a secret of his drinking.

My current husband drinks secretly.

If I had known I wouldn’t have married him, only an idiot puts themselves back into a bad situation after escaping the original one.

I didn’t know and I did marry him. I do still love him but I don’t trust him. I am not about to walk out on him just yet, I will give it my best shot to make it work but at this moment I do not trust him. He will have to work very hard to win back my trust if he wants to keep me.

He has been offered professional help to reduce his alcohol consumption
I don’t have a problem with taking him for the occasional pint but I won’t encourage him by offering.
What I do have a problem with is him drinking in secret

last night he decided to go for a walk around the block to get some fresh air> this was a little odd as he had come out with me earlier in the day but had spent most of the time in the car as his legs were not strong enough to stay on them for long. Anyway he went out, but returned 2 minutes later as he had no cash in his pocket.

‘you don’t need cash for a walk around the block.’

‘I like to have cash in my pocket.’

‘you don’t need cash unless you are going to buy vodka’

‘I just like to have cash in my pocket and I am not getting vodka, stop saying that.’

He then went out.

He wasn’t gone very long, we had dinner and watched tv, he went upstairs about  10.30pm and didn’t return. When I went to bed he was in his office with the door shut.  I thought about going in to say I was going to bed but decided against it. When I woke up at 3am he still wasn’t in bed so I went to find him. He was still in the office but lying on the floor. He had no explanation, I did ask if he had fallen again. He said no, he would come to bed in a minute.

I finally heard him come to bed at 4.50am. He then started a conversation that showed he had no idea of the time or any memory of the previous evening. (Skater had brought a friend home to stay, for the first time. )

I asked him about why he had been lying on the floor he didn’t know but he said that the clock had moved to a different wall. The pinboard had moved to  a different wall. His computer had also moved to a different wall.

When I got up this morning the first thing I did was go into his office to search for the bottle.

I found it almost immediately in the inside pocket of his jacket. There was also a pile of wet clothes on the floor.

I can cope with him drinking if I know that is what he is doing, heavens I am used to dealing with the aftermath of drink.

It is the lies that hurt and make me both angry and sad.

update

2 good things have come out of this.

a) I have had a lot of supportive messages from family and friends who have read this. It has made me realise how much I miss my friends.

Sadly in the year or so since we moved here none of us have made new friends apart from a few people at our favourite pub but as we no-longer go there or at least not recently, it is time to make new friends.

b)Today I have made the decision to join a club or society. I have looked online and found the local writers circle. I have just sent an email and hopefully I shall be able to join this group and fulfil 2 needs at once.

Fireworks and storms

Last night I had just got in from dropping Skater at the station. I had heard the voices and laughter in the darkness and wondered what was afoot. I was in our kitchen at the back of the house when it began. We have been hearing bangs and whooshes on and off for the last week or so. It is the same every year. Fireworks night seems to go on for about 2 or 3 weeks.

But this was different. At first I thought it was from one of the back gardens a few doors away, soon I realised this was at the front of the house coming from the green across the road. This was no 5 minute wonder. I made my way up to the spare room that I have claimed as my office/laundry room. Opening the vertical blinds and kneeling on the bed I began to watch this amazing display of colour and sound. I could make out a group of shadowy figures moving around with lights I can only assume strapped their heads. This was a well organised display, the people lighting the fireworks obviously knew what they were doing. There was barely a break between each firework. This display continued seamlessly for more than half an hour. It wasn’t until I joined Owl watching from his office window that I saw the group of spectators standing a safe distance from the display.

I don’t know who these people were and as it was only a small gathering on public land I can only assume it was a group of friends/family who had got together. They must have spent a small fortune to put this together. Whoever they are I applaud them.

This morning sitting in bed with my cup of tea, kindly brought to me by my husband I was reading my short story magazine that I have started buying for inspiration purposes. I read a story about a storm which reminded me of a short story I wrote 5 or 6 years ago.

I have decided to post it here as a small treat for you.

Silently

Waking he finds the empty space beside him where she had lain as she fell asleep wrapped in his arms. He knows she has not long left his side; there is still the residue of her warmth emanating from the sheet that still carries the scent of her. Turning his face into her pillow he breathes in the faint reminder that she was here recently. Silently he arises from the pale blue king sized bed, padding across the deep cream pile he moves through the door. It is not long before his eyes rest on her silhouette. He stands for a moment or two as he watches her. He knows why she is there, he knows what she is looking at, he has heard it too.

Another crash and the room around him becomes illuminated for a split second. He watches her as she stands there all alone watching the storm as it makes its wild and beautiful way across the bay towards them. This is another thing they share this love of the wild weather. They are so lucky to be so close to the beach, the storms that race across the ocean towards the land like this are always the best. From where he stands he can hear the waves crashing on the shingle so close yet still a safe distance away. He marvels at her serenity as she stands there with the wind and rain whipping at her.

He knows that taste of salt as the rain runs in tiny rivulets down her face and the tails of her hair as the water drips from the end of her soft brown curls. He can imagine the tiny beads of moisture resting on her eye lashes as she stands oblivious in her fascination. Slowly he moves forward until he reaches out his hand to her naked shoulder. Gripping her softly but firmly, she turns her head to look at him as he slides his free arm around her cold waist drawing her back into the warmth of his body, sheltering her from the chill that will soon have her shivering. He places her black silk wrap, which he had carried with him, upon her shoulders.

He kisses her neck and shoulder before he moves to stand slightly behind and to the side of her with his arm still around her.

‘I knew you would come.’ She whispers,

‘ how could I miss such a beautiful sight’ his soft heartfelt reply.

He means this beautiful creature he thinks of as his soul mate as much as the storm. The combination of both delight and arouse him so that he swiftly lifts her in his strong arms carrying her to the fur rug beside the gas fire, they can still see the storm through the Picture window that he now closes. The room suddenly silent, now that the weather has been shut out once again. Mutely he collects a fluffy cream towel from the Airing cupboard. Testing the warmth against his face he returns to his sweetheart. Removing the slip of black silk from her skin he gently dries her as she gazes into his eyes. Her attention now fully on him, she watches as he pours two chilled glasses of champagne from the now empty bottle from last night.

A toast ‘to a beautiful woman on a wild stormy night’

‘to my handsome, sexy hero who knows me so well’

 

***********

Talking of storms we seemed to have survived Monday’s St Jude storm relatively unscathed. I have seen some damaged trees but otherwise nothing much.  How did you fare (if you are in Southern UK)

I’ve got it!

I have been thinking long and hard to find it.

Today I got it

Today I decided on a working title for my book.

From today my book will be known as

The secrets of No 15

In other news I had a lovely visit from Statto and his girlfriend over the weekend. They arrived late on Saturday evening. In the morning I took them to the station so they could travel to Portsmouth. Statto was taking part in The Great South Run.  He did it in  78 minutes.  Later we went for a meal with my mother, my husband and my youngest son..

I also made my Christmas cake on Saturday.  For those of you non Brits this is what I mean. Traditional Christmas Cake

Next week I shall be having a minor surgical procedure at our local Super Hospital. Unfortunately my husband is unlikely to be able to take me, so some of my colleagues  have kindly volunteered to take me and pick me up. Thank you ladies.

Sometimes

Sometimes I just feel I want to find somewhere to curl up and hide from everything.

Just when things begin to get back to normal something happens to slap me back down.

I have been very lucky to have a job that I enjoy. Currently it is becoming depressing. I am sure it is only temporary.

After 12 years in remission I am now back to hospital visits and examinations.

After spending a year without a driving license, my husband has decided to foolishly throw it away. He goes to court next week.

After months of being unwell and beginning to get back to normal we are back to short term memory loss issues coupled with falling over problems.

 

But hey tomorrow is another day.  🙂

On her last legs

DSCF1179

It has been a funny old day.

Last night I noticed that  our elderly cat was having trouble walking. Her back left leg was splayed out to the side and her front paw was folding under.

She didn’t seem to be in pain or distress but I couldn’t watch her struggle to walk and not do anything.

I went to work as usual but  on the dot of 9 am I was on the phone to the local vets. (the website said that they open at 9 am). I made an appointment for my little black and white fur ball.

At 10.30 I raced home to collect our family pet, she was very good going into the basket, it has never been easier.  Why could she not be so well behaved before?

I had taken a tablet (antihistamine) before picking her up. Can you believe that I have been allergic to her for about 10 of her 16.5 years.

Owl started up the Chevrolet Blazer whilst I sat with Nipper on my lap (in her basket), talking to her stroking her little black face. It didn’t take long to get there.

Once in the consulting room we let Nipper out, she came out of the basket willingly if slowly. The young vet was very good with her, examining and explaining as she went along. No complaints from us or our pet who continued to purr at all this attention. The diagnosis was either a stroke which is what I had suspected due to the speed of the change in her, or a tumour on her brain. Either way it was neurological.

It was with tears in my eyes that I gave my decision to accept the offer of euthanasia.  I would rather that this little cat of ours should breath her last  whilst being pain free and not distressed.

The deed was done and I paid for the privilege with my cat in my arms.

Text messages and phone calls to family and friends meant that my phone was quite busy almost running out of charge. Interestingly I noted that certain family members whilst sad for Nipper were also concerned about Skater. For Skater has grown up with NIpper, since he was a toddler she has been his baby.

Among the facebook messages there was a post that I was tagged on. It was a fellow writer who I met online through blogging quite a few years ago, alerting me to this. Richard and Judy search for Best Seller. Thanks Sweetie 🙂

I have looked at what this entails and it is certainly a tall order. It could possibly be do able but what to write. I have the basic idea for my first book. I have my main characters  and some side characters. I have a basic idea of a setting. If I am to get the first 10,000 words written I shall have to shape up pretty quickly. The first thing I need to do is build some structure into my story.

I better go and get started ………

All in Dortmund

Last night my family were all in Dortmund (Germany)

That is not strictly true, Statto was somewhere in London, Pug was in Oxford. Skater was at home with me and Owl and my mum was at her home. But all of us were online watching a live stream from Dortmund. My eldest son Prodigal and his band New Desert Blues were playing the last date of their mini European tour.

Here are a few photos from their trip.

Hamburg

Hamburg        BrusselsBrussells and finally Dortmund DortmundHe tells me this was the best one yet.

They also played Paris and Berlin.

I am very proud of my son and his friends to have pulled this off. I just hope that something comes of all this.

I find it amazing that all of us at home were  able to watch their performance simultaneously all in our different places.

to find out more here is their facebook page

Oh wow

Yesterday morning when I came down for my breakfast (which Owl proudly makes for me most mornings) there was little Christopher Robin perched on my bird feeder.

Owl mentioned that when he came down our cat was out on the decking trying to out stare a fox.

My reaction was ……….Oh wow a fox in this garden

His reaction was……horrid thing.

I know if he still had a shot gun he would have shot it, to him they are vermin. To me they are part of the tapestry of wild life in our world.